on the nature of love...

or, at least the expression thereof.

i've never understood, and understand even less now, why the greatest expression of love that most men can muster is the willingness to beat people up and/or shoot at people? or why other people seem to think that is an admirable sentiment? i don't know. it's part of a larger question that i touched on with my post on violence as a tool of instruction. violence and the willingness to do violence as a admirable quality. *shrug* you know, of course, i would defend my life and the lives of my wife and child, but i don't go around crowing about my ability to do so. nor, do i hold that up as the shining example of my love for my family. i mean, in a lot of ways, that's like bragging about graduating from high school, or not having a prison record, or taking care of your kids (yes, i am channeling chris rock and i am proud of it). crack fiends in jail graduate from high school. so what? the same holds true for defending your family or your home or whatever. of course you would defend your home. do you want a cookie? if you want to be a father then you have to show up every single day and pull your weight. i mean, love is washing your kids diapers (without using kitchen gloves by the way--how much of a stud am i?). love is apologizing for losing your patience with him at three in the morning. love is the details of life not the grand gestures. to be honest, grand gestures are easy. they're so easy they've become cliche. they've become so cliche that if i go into a flower shop to buy flowers on a day that isn't a holiday, i can bet money on the clerk asking me what i did. i mean, they are nice, don't get me wrong. coming home with a new toy for the baby or flowers for the wife. yeah, that stuff is nice and you should do that every once in awhile. that may be what your child remembers, but it isn't how you prove your love, and your child will understand that when they become parents--the way i did. thanks pops. 'preciate ya, ma. i am beginning to understand the lifelong dedication it takes to raise kids and have a successful family.